Okay shelbycloud here is my list

• Lolita Fashion
• Cats
• Mom
• Friends
• Horses
• Dogs
• Candy
• Soybeans
• Insightful conversations
• Music
• City Lights
• Family
• Shopping
• Glitter
• Makeup
• Sewing
• Dancing
• Snow
• Singing
• Baking
• Cooking
• Cleaning
• Kissing
• 1920's jazz
• Street fashion
• Pokemon
• Sailor Moon
• Punk fashion
• Books
• Tea
• Getting/sending letters
• Cute stickers
• Concerts
• Random phone calls
• Sparkles
• Fairies
• Junko Mizuno
• Hammocks
• High boots
• Pigtails
• Bike riding
• Carnivals
• Sushi
• Reading
• Gwen Stefani
• Disney
• Japanese supermarkets
• Rooftops
• Pomegranates
• Chocolate

Ooh, good list

Eva Longoria ~ 5'2"
Kim Kardashian~ 5'3"
Sara Jayne~ 5'3"

Long story short.....short is sexy ;)

So there's this guy.  It's nothing special, but when I talk to him, I get a little excited and a little giggly.  Just a little though.  I can't remember the last time that's happened.  Ready to try it again?  Maybe...

I don't know how to properly give credit for something, but this is from the winter 2009 English Gothic and Lolita Bible
by Arika Takarano of Ali Project
"Oh Maiden, Advance with a Sword and a Rose"

"I wonder what made you become Lolita? Is it because you wanted to wear cute clothes? Because you like lace and frills? Because you wanted to be like someone? Or was it because you wanted to become cute so you'd be popular with the guys?

No, no, that's impossible, isn't it? After all, Lolita isn't something with which you worry about what guys think! I bet your answer is something like this, "Before I knew it, I was a Lolita maiden."

That's right! You are a chosen maiden, a born aristocratic maiden. I understand you well. You're a daydreamer and a visionary who is here in body, but not in spirit. You're shy, willful, and don't want to be like others. You like reading by yourself rather than partying with friends. You love pretty things and want to live surrounded by only the things you like. Isn't that right?

"I am a special maiden." It's okay for you to think that, you know. Even if there are strangers who look away and snicker at you because your skirt is too poufy, or because the ribbon adorning your hair is too big, you don't have to let it bother you. Sure, it's aggravating that there still are some confused people who see Gothic and Lolita as unemotional, cheap cosplay, but you should just remain confident and stand tall.

One cannot learn true kindness unless one becomes strong. Nothing will come of indulging in the comfort of lukewarm idleness. It's trifling and foolish to look at the same things others see and try to discover something interesting from such. After all, there are many more wonderful things, yet-unknown things, beautiful things that will take your breath away in your world. I know you can find these things.

Cotton candy envelops your heart. Scarlet roses bloom in your eyes, and the taste of honey forever spreads upon your tongue. Your hair is soft and your skin smooth. You are a maiden who was born to be Lolita. You exist in a cocoon. The light of the sun and the glistening of the moon gently fall upon you there. You want to stay in there forever with your eyes closed. While you wish for that, the dreams that fall gently upon you there are woven like a sweet layer of powdered sugar....

But girls with a highly developed sense of beauty are intelligent. Have you realized that behind the fluffy cuteness lies a well-honed sword, the blade of which shines brightly? That's right. After all, you already know, don't you? That this world does not consist of only beautiful things? That somewhere there lurks malice that intends to do you harm? That roses have thorns so that they may remain sublime? Abd that sometimes, you must fight to protect that which is dear to you?

This is what I think: Gothic and Lolita clothes are a maiden's armor, which even a knight's armor cannot compare to. A maiden's lace is her steel. her ribbons are chains. Her dress hat is her helmet, and she surreptitiously changes the blood that flows from her wounds into true red rose petals. Thus, the maiden fights. After all, to live is to fight, and to become beautiful is to become stronger.

You are a noble being that no one may touch, you are cute and yet tragic. Yes, the ideal aristocratic maiden, in my imagination, is very much like you.

There are often maidens who say, "But I'm not cute, so..." You know, though, that there's no such thing as a maiden who is not cute. It's just that there are those maidens who don't have enough confidence. However, modesty is a virtue, and those maidens won't become the kind of shameless women who are not mindful of their appearance. That's why I think not having confidence is a step toward beauty, too. So, stop looking in the mirror and sighing! You must find at least a piece of yourself that you like the best. For example, a part of your face would be nice: like your peachy cheeks or even your eyelashes. Your tiny, pink seashell-like nails also would be fine. The fact that you've got a talent for art, or that your specialty is making sweets would be fine too. It's enough for you to acknowledge, little-by-little, that there is something that you excel in. See? When you think of it that way, don't you now recall this and that talent?

Say, I can see wings on your back- elegant wings, with the luster of velvet. Please keep flying freely, without fear. Even if someone should hurt you, you will end up landing in the right place. I know this well, because once upon a time, I was like you too."

*This does not accurately reflect who I am or what my feelings and goals are, but this piece does speak to me, and I feel that it does show a side of my multifaceted personality. For example, I would much rather go and party with my friends than stay home alone, and I have confidence in myself and my appearance

So, I'm wearing my brand new Silky Princess Angelic Pretty OP today *lovelovelove* because my amazing aunt said that I can wear lolita to her bridal shower.  I'm chilling at home waiting because mom said she doesn't want to be seen outside with me :/
Anyway, so I had to go to the bathroom, and i was terrified.  My dress has so many ribbons and such, I was so scared something was going to fall in the toilet or something!!  But, I lifted all my skirts and petticoats and nothng went wrong. :P  And then I started wondering- hpw did the women in past centuries, who had to deal with skirts, petticoats, hoops, and just volumes and volumes of material, go to the bathroom?  It must have been impossible!  Hmm....

My first sewing lesson today.  NEW SHOES!!!!! Overall, great day.  Took a nap in the middle of the day, and had a dream that I worked at Best Buy.  I'm now going to apply online for Best Buy.

I'm so excited, my car is finally up and working again!! I really want to get the summer going, so I made a list of all the fun things I want to do!  Next step, call people and make solid plans!  :D
LET'S HAVE LOTS OF FUN THIS SUMMER!!

• disneyland ($69)
• Universal Studios ($67)
• citywalk
• Aquarium of the Pacific ($24; $12 after 5pm on Sundays)
• Getty (free)
• California Science Museum/Natural History Museum/Rose Garden (natural history is $9)
• hurricane harbor ($25; $20 online)
• BtSSB August 15!
• San Francisco
• Hollywood
• Six Flags ($54, $27 online)
• Venice/Santa Monica
• Raging Waters ($36, $34 online)
• Ventura County Fair (August 2-16)
• AV Fair (August 20-30)
• Little Tokyo
• Chinatown

whew!! Can't wait!  Here's another list of the people I want to hook up with especially and bring with me on my adventures!

• Alex
• Kristen
• Teddy PomPom (back on July 18)
• Jennifer
• Kelsie
• Dakota
• Maddie
• Lynsey
• Steph
• Simone
• Ryan
• Bella
• Shannon
• Dani

<3  hee hee!  Next step, determine what days everyone is available, and write out a schedule!!
Days I am not free (after AX, of course):

• July 8(sewing lesson)
• July 10 (Steph's bday)
• July 12 (Risa's bridal shower)
• July 15 (sewing lesson)
• July 24 (sewing lesson)
• July 28 (Fiddler on the Roof with family)
• July 31 (sewing lesson)

and that's all I know about...so far.  Need to find out when the wedding is, and when I have to be home for mom and Butch's cruise
let's do it!!!

~HellCatPunks~









~Angelic Pretty~












~Black Peace Now~



~moi-Meme-Moitie~



~Sexy Dynamite London~


~Super Lovers~








~Yosuke~



~Metamorphose temps de fille~





~Baby the Stars Shine Bright~





~h.Naoto~

I love takoyaki.
That is all

Aujourd'hui, je suis malheureuse.  Pourquoi, je ne sais pas pour certain.  Je pense que c'est mon petit ami.  La dernier soir, il a ete tres mechant a moi, mais je sais que il ne serioux pas.  il a réagi de manière excessive.  Je l'adore, mais, il est trop facile pour il me faire tres tres renversement.  Maintenant, je suis furieuse, mais je deviendrai calme en temps.  J'espere qu'il apologiserai bientot.  Ou dites-moi quelqeu bien.

Ah, today was a gooood day.  We woke up early and went to the Rose Bowl Flea Market.  Got some hella cool stuff, a bunch of accessories for $1 each, an Alice in Wonderland t-shirt [$10], a Butterfree wallet and a faux Tokidoki wallet[$5 each].  Aaaaand [insert trumpet fanfare]  the grand find of the day.....a genuine Tokidoki fannypak with an out-of-print pirate pattern for 24 MOTHA=EFFIN DOLLAS!!!!!!!!!!  Holy crap, I was freaking out the whole day because of that one find.  I'm never gonna take this thing off :D

Also, went to the Forever 21 to look for a cute cute black and white frilly gingham dress that they didn't have in my size yesterday.  But alas, even though it is three times the size of the one in Valencia, there was no trace of it.  Oh well, it's not like I'm lacking any new clothes ^.^ Plus, i got some $2 tank tops out of it.

Also, went to my favorite, H+M, but at that time in the day, me and Mom were kinda tired, so I didn't have my usual shopping gusto.  Still, I got a bunch of really cute skirts :3.  But I wish I had gotten to get more Japanese clothes in my super-duper shopping spree.  I think my mom took me to all the best normal girl stores so she can stop me from dressing like a weirdo in college :P

The downside of this day is...that this is all for my birthday celebration, pretty much.  My mom is usually about the only person who gets me stuff.  My dad is cheap, so I'll probably get a couple books, and if he's still pissed about the Westside shopping thing, he'll get me something he got for free at the office >.<  My family figures I'm too old for birthday presents, and my friends are too poor to get me anything.  But hey, I'm 18 so I've got to lay off the materialism anyway.  My 18th birthday is over 2 weeks before it starts T_T.  Oh well.  Happy 18th birthday Miss Sara Jayne!!<3

So Part 1 of Sara's ultra awesome Birthday Shopping Spree has started with a bang!!  Today my mom and I just planned to go to Sidecca in Valencia for some stuff, but we walked in the entrance and lo and behold [insert angelic chorus] Forever 21!!!!!  I got jackets, sweaters, shirts, skirts, jackets, and shoes!!! I think the total was like...$317.  Then to Sidecca and i got some cute floral lace gloves, new vest, cute pants, and a new Snow White wallet.  I need to get a new purse since that awful Cheryl woman got cleaning fluid all over my H+M bag D:<
We also hit up The Disney store and Journey's.  I can't wait for tomorrow: Pasadena for the Rose Bowl flea market and H+M!!!!!!!!!!!! All my most favorite stores<3.  I bruised my knuckles holding hangers.  But hey, they're like my battle scars :D. Ah, few thing in life give me mor epleasure than a fantastic shopping trip.  Oh! Also, on the way there and back, we listened to a Disney Princess karaoke CD, and my mom said my voice has improved so much!  I love singing to those songs.  I was thinking that if I minor in something, instead of French, maybe music....I think it would be really cool to minor in music.  I hope I can take my first music class next quarter, but I'm not sure if I have too many requirements I still have to take.  I'll have to see. 

Hey, where's the dog?  Izzy?  IZZY?!?!


wee!! Valencia mall!!!

This song makes me feel so at peace.  I wish I actually had it on my phone.
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I wish I could play the piano just so I could play this song. 
Sheer curtains fluttering by the open floor-length windows, the room lit up with sunshine.  Wood-paneled floor, me playing the grand piano in the corner in a thin white dress to match the curtains.  All alone, and perfectly at peace.

I had hoped to make another early night of it, but I have a feeling that's going to go to crap for two reasons. First of all, I somehow managed to sleep for 13 hours last night, second because Amanda's blog entry made me think too damn hard to fall asleep. I anted to call her and maybe even hang out with her just so I could talk to someone, but I don't have her number. So I decided to look for other people's livejournals to read that were interesting, but I didn't know how to look, so Now I'll just write instead of read. I really wish no one read this so I could be more personal on here, but this is the longest I've kept a journal and I know it has something to do with the fact that it's online and not on paper, although I have plenty of journals because it seems like that's the gift people get mysterious teenagers. Do other people think I'm mysterious? I don't think I am. I think I'm totally open to telling people everyhting about myself. The problem is that no one wants to listen. I feel so alone with no one to talk to. That must be why I've been on here almost every day! I've always been lonely though, my entire life, so it doesn't bother me like it does everyone else. Of course I have those times of uncertinty where I'm like, why am I the only girl not going out and being crazy and having fun and all that? But...it really doesn't matter. It's hard for me to make friends, I'm really shy around people, it's easier for me to be outrageous and weird then walk up to someone and just talk to them. It's how I've always been, it's always easier for me to be the weird girl. But, I do like going out and having fun with friends. But lately, it seems like I don't have any. All my friends have left me or betrayed me. And when you allude something like that to people, more specifically adults, they just say, "oh well those people aren't your real friends." Okay, well then where are my real friends? Where are the people who I call when I'm sad, or bored, or lonely? Because lately when I've tried calling people when I'm feeling any of these things, they have better things to do. Now that makes me sad.  But like I said, I'm alright with being alone.  I think it's kind of who I was meant to be.  That's why I want to dress in Lolita so badly.  Because, in my mind, when I think of myself walking, drinking tea, reading a book, sitting in the sunshine, I'm lovely in a fluffy dress that makes me feel like a princess.  Because, you know one reason why I love Disney princesses so much?   Just think about it.  Whenever I'm lonely, and none of my friends prove to be true ones, and nothing seems to be working out for me, I look to them.  Where are their friends?  What parties do they go to? They aren't out shopping and hanging out every day.  They're reading and singing and wishing.  And don't have any flaws at all.  They are just lonely, but they are kind and pretty and wonderful girls, and the reason they don't make friends with other people/merpeople their own age is simply because...they're different from those people.  Remind you of someone?  So this is my reaosn that I am not sad to be alone, to not have true friends, to not go out all that much.  Just like the princesses, I am confident in myself.  I live in my own world where I am a princess, where I am always wearing something lovely, and being kind to people, and doing what I have to do.  I can go on my own adventure, and not worry about being like everyone else, and not worry about being jealous.  I am not like anyone else.  I have confidence and love in my heart, and I lways stop and think, about everything. 
For now, I can take every day as it comes, and just be the very most wonderful Sara that I can.  And if I waste a day not doing anything, it's alright.  Because if you look at the great wide universe, what is it anyway?  One day that I wasted on this planet where I have thousands to make it up.  Just thinking and dreaming, I can spend a whole day like that and not feel bad, because I am a princess, and it's okay if I spend an eternity like that.

So I was at temple the other day for this girl Isabelle's bat mitzvah. And I was tired of dressing super-girly, so I decided to go androgynous. I wore a thin white shirt with one of those collars that are not folded, they just go up a little, and wide trouser pants, and an oversized vest that my cousin bryce gave me (I wonder if after he's done body building he's going to get stretch marks on his muscles cuz theyre so ridiculously big). Of course, I never really look manly in anything I wear, but it was nice for a change anyway. So I go in, and the hens of the temple are starting to talk to me and they are like confused about what I'm wearing because most old people are annoying. And I say, "Yeah, I felt like dressing androgynous today." (My mom was there too because she's forced into helping in the kitchen every time she's there, in fact she ended up havign to be back there for like the entire service and she was sad she missed it. stupid temple hens) Anyway, they looked at each other and they were like, what does androgynous mean? And I tried to explain it as best I could, that it was like a style that's neither masculine or feminine, just has elements of both. And then they said, no, I think that's metrosexual. And by this time I was like, I am so done with you annoying old people, so my mom explains to them what both words mean and I quietly sneak away into the sanctuary to my seat so i wouldnt have to talk to anyone else.

And then lo and behold! the videographer was this kid I went to middle school with. He had actually become fairly attractive. I remember back in school he was seriously the most annoying, self obsessed little chubby asshole ever. I would have talked to him to see how he was and all that, but I was way too damn tired to say anything at all. Oh well.

I've been so stressed lately, I'm sorry to all the people who have had to deal with me snapping at them over the past couple weeks. Pretty much just Jarrod, Mom, and Dad, who are pretty much the only people I've talked to lately. All of you are so good to me, especially my parents. All they do is have my best interest in mind, and they worry and care about me and take care of me, and then I stomp out of the house without saying goodbye, I feel so bad that I've been taking this out on everyone else. It's been so long since I've been in a really good mood. I need to find something to do. I wish I could sew or draw, so that those things could take up my time, but as it is I have no talent for creating. I don't deserve any of these wonderful people who are so nice to me. I've always been lucky, getting a horse, a car, a phone, everything I've ever wanted, and then I still treat people like shit. I feel so bad. I don't deserve any of this.

But man, I am craving udon, and there is nowhere that I know of to get it in the entire AV

what's the point?

One of my most favorite movies in the world is Return to Oz.  Hardly anyone has heard of it or seen it, whech makes it all the more precious to me, it's like my special little secret.  Anyway, in the beginning of this movie, Dorothy can not sleep, so her Aunt Em takes her to this special doctor who supposedly has this new age technology that can get rid of her bad dreams and make it so that she can sleep again (by the way, she has been dreaming nonstop of Oz, of course).  He says that she is having dreams because of excess currents in her brain, and when he puts on these special headphones, all those excess currents will go away, and she can sleep again.  I love that movie, so much.  Anyway, I used this to demonstrate why I am writing this entry, which is because I feel very creative, but I don't know what I want to do, so I will write here until my creative energy is contained, and the excess currents are gone.  Of course, I am naturally a creative person.

Oh shit I just got Breaking Dawn!!!!
Okay, I'm ending this entry until I finish this<3

Man, new shoes make me happy.  And I really need something to make me happy, because I am very, very depressed.  They're cute dark purple heels, and I love heels, and I really know how to walk in them.  It sucks though because I haven't been anywhere nice in a while, so I won't get to wear them anywhere.

Oh wow, I can't believe it's already like the end of July.  Where the hell has my summer gone?  What happened to a month of trips, fun, parties, and all such frivolities?  Sure, I had some fun, but not nearly as much as I'd wanted to have.  I think I have an idea of what I did.  

I'm so lost and lonely right now.  I thought things would be different now, but they really aren't.  Everything stays the same, nothing's gonna change my world.  It's okay, it doesn't matter.  Like I told everyone before, there are more important things to think about.  I'm not like everyone else, and my heart doesn't work like everyone else's.  Being what I am, it takes a lot more to sway me.  
I'm thinking too much again, but everytime i say that, I put something that might be important in the back of my mind for later.  I may be thinking too much now, but if I don't consider it all soon, I might go and do something stupid.  I know that I've abandoned my dreams of acting, but that doesn't mean that I've forgotten what I've learned.  Back then, I learned to think of all the emotions that flow through me, examine how people interact and respond, amd in terms of myself, I have to think about how people treat me, and try to find out how much they care, try to figure people out.  When I combine what I've learned, through that class, through all my peace conferences, through meditation, through what I've read, I can't just throw away what people do and say and what my intuition is.  There are times when we think too much, but with all this free time on my hands, it might be time to look inside myself, examine what i find.  I don't know yet what I want in the long term, and i probably won't find that out anytime soon, but I might discover something else that I've been missing.